So I wished him the best in his journey with people he didn’t have to change for, and I felt relieved it ended sooner rather than later. His reasoning was really confusing, but then I realized it was because he was the same as his friends. I asked if he thought a spark was needed for a relationship, and he answered no. He proceeds to say that he does not feel a spark between us anymore, and he realized that I was really mature for my age. He said he wanted to cancel the dinner, but he didn’t because he wanted to confirm something. However, as soon as we arrived to my place, he spills the tea. During the dinner we did not talk much because I thought he was tired from work, and I was okay with sitting and eating in silence. Our last dinner together had the intention of celebrating my birthday. But as you know from the title, we did not. The honeymoon period between us was coming to an end, but I was still hopeful we could get through this busy period. Then as life becomes, we got busy with school and work. I honestly thought that these people were friends with each other because they didn’t have to grow up when they were with each other, but based on a value the two of us shared and the conversations we had, I had hope he was different from them. I continued to date him, and he continued to be friends with them. So I decided to get therapy again to help process, learn, and grow from everything that happened. It wasn’t very productive, and all I got was that our relationship was toxic, I haven’t changed from high school, and I’m manipulative. Then I had one final call with my high school now former friend. So I left that discord channel, and I decided to focus on him. But I was met with rejection, I was told I should’ve taken a hint during the trip, and I fucked up my chance at proving my worth to be in the group. I tried to take responsibility for my actions by apologizing and opening up to conversation. They called me a slut, a person that plays the victim, and other hurtful things. I apologized, but it was met with an “I don’t care if you two date.” Then I find out from the guy I’m now dating that the group hated me. Like I feared, she felt betrayed by my actions. Then came the conversation with my high school friend. Plus, I was gonna start dating a guy I was interested in. I was feeling good, as I thought we all had lots of fun. I was convinced while drunk that he had no interest in me, but that changed after we both woke up at the same time to drink water. Honestly, I didn’t have much experience with my drunken state, so I did not expect that when I chose not to control my drinking alongside everyone else during the trip, I would be flirting with the guy I had an interest in. But then I got drunk during a friends trip at the start of January. The feelings started to grow a bit more the next we all hung out, but I was feeling like I would be disrespecting my high school friend if I pursued him. Then I went indoor rock climbing with two of the guys from the group, and I started to develop a romantic interest in one of them due to us clicking with other similar interests and personal similarities. I meet the group a second time, and I still felt like I was enjoying spending time with them. I enjoyed their company, and I started to feel like I was becoming friends with everyone. We get sushi, and we chat about random things. Without her might I add because she lives in a different city. I eventually meet her junior high friends in our hometown. We had similar interests in anime, gaming, eating food etc, and I was happy my high school friend had a safe space with them. I join the server, and I think I get along with everyone relatively well. The whole story starts when my high school friend invites me to a discord server of their junior high friends.
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